Becoming More Socially Aware
SUMMARY
Social intelligence is the ability to be aware of what could be going on in the other person, and it brings in a desire to understand through their lens, not through ours.
We are social beings, who operate with other people, and sometimes that can create some problems.
We think we can read what is going on for them the same as we can for ourselves but unfortunately, a lot of times, we make assumptions that are not true which can make the relationship, the conversation, or whatever you are working with in that moment a little uncomfortable and difficult.
In this week's episode, I want to introduce you to another intelligence that is going to help you become more socially aware.
TRANSCRIPT
Do you sometimes find that working with other people, who are also emotional beings, is a little bit challenging?
We think we can read what is going on for them the same as we can for ourselves but unfortunately, a lot of times, we make assumptions that are not true which can make the relationship, the conversation, or whatever you are working with in that moment a little uncomfortable and difficult.
Well, that is okay. Stick with me because, in this week's episode, I want to introduce you to another intelligence that is going to help you with that.
Hi, this is Grant Herbert, VUCA Leadership and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to get back into our regular conversation around all things Emotional Intelligence by helping you to become more socially aware.
For the last few weeks, we have been talking about ourselves and how, as emotional beings, we need to learn to notice, name, and then navigate our emotions. We have talked about the fact that emotions are physiological cues and clues to let you know that something is going on internally. Then the psychological and the thought patterns that are all based on your beliefs, determine how you choose to feel.
Just like you, everybody else on the planet operates in that same way. So, whereby emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of what is going on for YOU emotionally, you need to have a different intelligence to work out what is going on with others, and that is called Social Intelligence.
We are social beings, who operate with other people, and sometimes that can create some problems.
When you have got two or more imperfect human beings operating in the same proximity, they need to have a language that they can speak so that it will help both of them reduce the miscommunication and misunderstanding which causes conflict.
Social intelligence is the ability to be aware of what could be going on in the other person, and it brings in a desire to understand through their lens, not through ours.
The first thing you need to do is understand that the way you interpret and navigate a particular emotion can be totally different for somebody else.
Social Intelligence starts with social awareness, and the key element of that is empathy.
Empathy is the ability to look at a situation the way the other person is looking at it. It is the ability to ask questions and actively listen so you get a deeper understanding and be able to check in and say things like:
"Hey, I am feeling like you might be getting a little bit upset right now. Can you tell me about that?"
Doing this will see those miscommunications pushed aside, and you can move forward.
So, the key element here is not to assume they are going through a certain emotion.
Now this is a baseline of all communication between human beings, where instead of making assumptions based on your understanding, you use reflective listening, check in, and listen intently, not just for what is being said but for what is NOT being said.
You also need to develop another competency called situational awareness, and this is where you are able to take off those blinkers that just look straight ahead with your own unconscious and conscious biases. Situational awareness will enable you to look around and open your mind and understanding beyond what it is that you would normally be looking at and be fully present and attuned to what is going on with that particular person in that moment.
Then there is the competency of service orientation.
This is where you navigate your life looking at how you can serve others instead of just being self-serving. To have that mindset and attitude means that in your interactions with other people, you are going to be able to communicate for their benefit, not just for yours.
Every person on the planet needs to develop these skills because we are all emotional, imperfect beings. We are never going to be perfect, and that is never going to be the goal.
Social awareness opens up a world of understanding, and it allows you to remove any misconceptions, misunderstandings, and confusion and gives you certainty so that your conversations can have more depth and be more beneficial for you, for them and the greater good.
Social intelligence is about understanding what could be going on with others and then using that information to manage how you respond to them. This is going to develop totally different relationships with them because it immediately says you care, and you are interested in them as well as yourself.
So, this is not about going: "Don't worry about me; it's all about you." No, that is unhealthy as well. It is about having an open conversation and an environment that says:
"It's okay for us to have opinions that don't match. It doesn't make either of us wrong; it just means that we need to go deeper in our conversation to understand why you see things that way."
Well, that is it from me for another week. Join me again next week as we continue this conversation around Social Intelligence, and delve into this priceless competency of empathy.
I will see you then.
