Controlling the Gap Between Sensation and Response
Episode 4: Controlling the Gap Between Sensation and Response
Episode 4: Controlling the Gap Between Sensation and ResponseEpisode 4: Controlling the Gap Between Sensation and Response
Do you sometimes get confused as to why it is that you behave the way you do? You think, "I know that I'm not supposed to do that," but you keep doing it anyway. Well, this month, we're going to have a look at why that happens and how you can change to the behaviour that you actually want.
We've been talking about emotional intelligence and the fact that we are emotional beings. We talked about the fact that we need some clarity and some awareness of why it is that we behave the way we do so that we can reconcile and make sense of that before we go changing things.
To do that, we need to understand what actually happens in the emotional process. So firstly, we have a physiological sensation somewhere in the body that says, "Hey, something is going on for you right now." It's a cue, it's a sign, a warning signal to let you know. And the key, as we know, in awareness, is to be able to stop in that moment and notice that sensation.
The next thing that happens is that physiological sensation triggers a thought process. It brings up things that we have believed about ourselves and other situations and other people, and the dialogue starts. That is the psychological. So the gap that we want to control is between that initial sensation to what we make that mean, that psychological, how we ruminate on that, which then determines how we choose to feel.
How you then choose to feel determines how you behave. So it's not about managing your emotions. No, they're not there to be managed. They're there to be navigated. But it is about controlling what happens from that initial sensation to the behaviour.
Remember I said last month, no one can make you feel anything. That's something that you get to choose, and it's the psychological in that gap that creates that choice. So when you experience the emotion, the sensation, stop and ask yourself, "What is this sensation?" Challenge it if it doesn't seem like that's right, and then give it a name.
Naming the emotion that you are experiencing is a personal thing as not everyone experiences emotions the same way. However you interpret that physical sensation, give it the name that you give it. There are over 2,000 words in the English language alone that could describe that sensation in the moment.
And then the third part is the part we want to control. It's the part we want to make sure that we've got strategies in place to move through so that we get the best possible response rather than an emotional reaction based on dialogue that's unhealthy.
So we notice, we name, and then we navigate. Controlling what you make it mean is step number one.
Through neuroplasticity, by changing the thought patterns and then the behaviour and repeating that over and over, we can rewire our brain. So instead of when this happens, we go there straight away, when this happens, we now go a different way.
Well, that's it from me for another month. I'll see you then.
